Excuse me, I have something to say

by Hillary

“We all are children of our time, we can’t be anything else. Art history will take care of itself, what one has to do is get on and make the work. The most difficult challenge is not “how is it going to live in art history?” but “how can one challenge oneself to be a deeper, more poetic, more poignant artist.” To invent and reinvent the language that one is given. That’s a huge challenge.”

Anish Kapoor

I am not a master of a craft. It’s not that I am purposefully straying from that path, but I hold that art is no longer something to collect or classify. It is experiential, and a direct reflection of its time period. It is unique unto the observer. So this is now. I am living in this time, and creating. I am a collector of ideas and philosophies that are stored in the museum halls of my cognitive reality. I analyze and project these thoughts into objects, which are reflections of those ideas. I believe that –everything- that we see is a direct reflection of our thoughts. Reality is the blueprint of imagination. I see the world in terms of projections and reflections rather than good or bad. Of light and darkness. Positive energy and negative energy. It’s about reciprocity.

A malleable substance constructs the world. We are the children who play in the silly putty of time and space, making impressions of comics, stretching it out, balling it back up, and making more new shapes. Playfulness is at our center of being; it is what we are meant to do. Like Play-doh, we can change the shape of the objects and forms around us by shaping our thoughts first. I think it should be fun. And funny.

“We are here on earth to fart around, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

-Kurt Vonnegut

When I create art, it’s for me to experience and challenge myself. I have moments when I doubt what I’m doing, and when it’s done I have moments of rare untasted pleasure.  That is my personal journey. I love a work in progress. When I make art, I employ spontaneity, experimentation and discovery. I believe the joy in work is in the moment of creation. Peter Sellers once said in an interview that he didn’t like watching his movies, he enjoyed the moments while filming. It’s evident in a single Youtube search for his outtakes. That pleasure of being present in process, to me, is why he is such an epic icon of performance.

I believe every moment of life is a live performance. When we meet someone or do something for the first time, we are auditioning. First impressions are crucial. Why? Because we only get one shot. We only get this one moment to make a decision. And if we can argue that every moment is a new moment, then who are we as human beings on earth? We are performers, presenting a constant improvisation.

Yes, I consider myself to be a performer. Do I act in a traditional sense? Well, I used to.  What I have learned from improvisation (both comedic and dramatic) is that to make an interesting scene, it’s rewarding to be constructive in conversation and creation. “Yes, and…” is the rule of comedic improv.  So what does this mean to me in terms of painting and sculpture?

I’m just going to jump right into Antonin Artaud for that answer. His ideas of creating from the void are fascinating to me. To begin with nothing, a blackness, an absence, and to pull the force of will from the internal fire that burns inside of the solar plexus to say an idea…. Whichever way it is begging to be said. Positive substance from dark chasm is truth. It is all a message, a sign, for you to read and place in your understanding.

the space between

It’s about the idea before the “aesthetisized” final product. I want the liberty to use cardboard, tape, staples, wood I find on the street, sounds, hot glue, spray paint, and whatever else I feel like using to say what I need to say, including digital media. I desire to use as many materials as possible in order to say as much as possible.

I believe this is a form of anarchy. Presenting an idea without permission from society about its “acceptability”… to let people react according to their own history is to force them into premeditated chaos. Displacement. Transformation. This removes the individual from the group experience by presenting something truly new to them. It’s my goal through art, to give others a full and profound awareness that we are both individuals acting on free will and we are also participants in a greater schema.

The only ideas or expressions that are “bad” are the ones not being made. When we create, we can make connections with other people, other creators, and piece together the synchronicities and in turn experience the beauty of co-existence rather than separation from non-creation… in other words loneliness of misery.

There is no false creation, only metaphor. Everything is a lie, a story that takes only one belief to exist. Yet truth needs no one to believe in it. There is no failure. Time and space is a series of successions. So long as we are aware of this and maintain a balance between our true self and our “frienemy” of an ego… we are free to do and be anything we choose.